I’ve just realised how long it’s been since my last piece. Things have changed a heck of a lot recently, most notably I became a full time stay-at-home dad back in September for my two kids. How on earth I even remotely thought I’d have time to keep on top of regular writing is beyond me. It got so hectic I’m seriously considering adding a sub-heading to my second book. Mind, I’m a little unsure about “High Heels & White Trainers: A Novel Relationship Or I Would Have Written This Earlier If It Wasn’t For These Meddling Kids”.
So if you read one of my previous articles you’d be forgiven for thinking I see 2014 as a year that truly sucked. In many ways, I still see it that way; maybe it’s the overly concerned father figure in me. I mean is it truly possible that relationships between the west and North Korea worsened because of Seth “Not Funny Since 40 Year Old Virgin And Even Then Paul Rudd Was Way Better” Rogen? I mean, sure it’s possible that Sony was hacked by Kim Jong Un’s lackies. It’s also possible Sony, or even Rogen himself did the hacking to get the film some much needed publicity. A small part of me likes to think that someone in North Korea did the hack, not out of malice, but simply because they have good taste and couldn’t stand another Rogen onslaught. (If the latter is the case then where are you for the Brett Ratner and Michael Bay films eh?!)
In other news Doctor Who was a mild personal disapointment. I found myself frequenting a certain popular coffee house mainly because of the free warm milk drink for the kids, which inevitably lead to growing personal consumption of various coffee based beverages. A massive personal gaff considering 4 years ago I refused to even touch the stuff. Fatherhood changes you.
But my biggest annoyance was E4’s Made In Chelsea – not because it’s the kind of show that I should loathe more than a 24 hour telethon with nothing more than Piers Morgan singing “I’m A Barbie Girl” in a constant loop, but because I actually started liking it. What started as an exercise in creating a Made In Chelsea drinking game (every time they say “like” – shot! Every time there’s an overly dramatic pause – shot! Every time someone pulls a stupid face – shot!! Seriously, hammered within 5 minutes!!) soon became a marital bonding session bathed in the pseudo-reality of posh-knob stupidity.
I mean look at this guy – he pulls more stupid faces in 5 minutes of screen time than Michelle Roux manages in an entire episode of Masterchef! I honestly can’t decide if it’s the sleep deprivation, the growing amounts of caffeine in my blood, or this programme melting my brain! (I can’t blaime Seth Rogen as I physically can’t watch him anymore!)
So as we speed towards the year of 2015 some resolutions are already written down – less coffee, less Made In Chelsea, more writing. I’ve already pencilled in the entire month of February to blitz through my second book. “High Heels & White Trainers” must be published simply to free up space in my brain.
So here’s to you and your 2014, and the changes you want to make for 2015.
See y’all on the other side!!